Sunday, October 11, 2009

Zombie Recall

Hello everyone welcome to the Zombie Farm where we raise much more then hell.

There is an important Zombie recall. But let me address another issue first.

What you do with your Zombie behind closed doors is your business. Please do not send photos. There are some things I just don't want to see. That also refers to video.
(If you send photos after this little announcement you will be responsible for my therapy bills. So if you destroy my mind I destroy your bank account!)

Okay let's get to that recall. Zombies that were raised April of this year seem to have a little defect. It was training month at the farm and it seems one of our new raisers put a wrong ingredient in the zombie raising powder. I'm not going to go into details about what was put in. Just know the result was a batch of Zombies that will suddenly burst out into song. Not just any songs either they seem to enjoy anything by Poison. I'm not knocking the Zombies choice in music I happen to like a little Poison every now and then myself. It's just when a Zombie that has partially decayed vocal cords burst out singing "Talk Dirty To Me", or "I Want Action Tonight" ugh, it's just creepy.

So send the Zombies back for a refund or exchange. Unless of course you like your Zombie bursting into your bedroom late at night jumping into the bed with you while belting out, "I Want Action Tonight." If that makes you happy then of course by all means keep your Zombie, you obviously deserve each other. (Note: If you keep your Zombie please refer to the photo/video issue above. Seriously I don't want to see them.)

Be a responsible Zombie owner: get your Zombie spayed or neutered!

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